Archive for June, 2009

Keep on ticking…

So I finally got a call back about the Echo test I had. Yes, I have two enlarged chambers, the bottom ones, but they are working great so I’m alright. Good Job Heart! Please keep working fine for many years to come! Please.

After the results were given to me, I asked when I’d get the C-Pap machine? There was some confusion on the nurse’s part and I re-hashed all the conversations we’ve had since my 2nd sleep study. Then she told me she’d talk to the doctor when she comes in and calls me back. The call back that I got was from a different nurse to say “This is W from Dr. M’s office calling to let you know your sleep study has been scheduled for July 6th.” This is me: “What do you mean ANOTHER sleep study? I’ve already had two!”  W: “I’m not sure, I just had a note to call you and let you know about it.” M: “Why do I have to have another one? I did the first one to find out about sleep apnea and then the 2nd one was for the machine. Now I have to have a 3rd one?” W: “Um, S’s right here, let me ask her. She said it’s for a bi-pap machine sitration (or some shit like that. my words, not hers. lol) (basically a totally different machine) M: Okay, fine. You said the 6th? Same thing as the last two times I was there?” W: Yes ma’am. Show up by 8p.m. and they will take care of you.” It’s not that I’m a bitchy person to nurses, because let’s face it, nurses are running the shit. Doctors come in and diagnose and all that stuff, but nurses are the backbones of the operation. I’d just like for 1) to get to talk to my doctor about why she feels I need another test and 2) when you call and tell me something is planned, at least know what it’s for. Those fucking tests are $5,000 a piece! Okay, so my insurance is awesome and I end up with a bill for $503, but still that’s FIVE HUNDRED AND THREE DOLLARS! Now we’re talking $1509.00. You know how long it’s going to take to pay that off? Sheesh. Anywho, I’m blessed to even have insurance so I shouldn’t bitch that much. 

I’m actually really blessed that I wake up everyday and heart wants to keep on ticking. Thank you again Heart for keeping me going.


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35 and counting

Yep, I’m 35. I will be for the rest of the year. I didn’t just have a birthday, that was in March, but I’ve thought a lot about being 35 since then. Things like, when you’re a kid, 35 was old! It was a number that was so far away you couldn’t ever imagine being 35. I’ve thought about stuff like how I’m half way through my 30’s and I’m STILL not doing what I want to do professionally. Let’s not kid, I’m not doing what I want personally either. I need to quit being a chicken shit and just do it. Professionally and personally. My dream on the career front is to be a photographer. No surprise there because I talk a lot about photography. a. lot. But I’d also like to be a party planner. I love to plan parties. Love it! The research, coming up with ideas, everything in between, and the eventual outcome. I need to suck it up and put myself out there. Like I said, quit being a chicken shit.  I’ve really thought a lot about it ever since Dr. Long started his new sermon 2 wks ago at church. The title of it is Critical questions every parent asks. The first one was “what on Earth have you done?!” The awesome thing was he brought it around to God asking us ‘what on Earth have you done’? It’s made me think that I haven’t done much. And there’s a lot I wanna do. My list of wants is:

Be a mom, wife, best friend, awesome sister, wonderful daughter, photographer, happy, whimsical, financially responsible, and all around great person. While I am already some of those, :o), I want to be all of those things. Of course it’s not all I want out of this life, but a good start. So back to my thoughts on being 35. I believe this will be the year that I quit with the fear of the unknown and put myself out there. Both professionally and personally. Hell, I bought a car this year! I’ve told myself forever that I couldn’t afford it and this and that, but when I quit saying that, I realized I can do it. I can do anything I set my mind to. No more negative thoughts. If you say it long enough you believe it. So, here’s to a great year to continue on in my great life. (I may have rambled on long enough and lost my point somewhere, but I’m not going to re-read this post and change it. Ha!)


Have an awesome week, day, month, year. And ask yourself, “What on Earth have you done?”

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Pulmonary Hypertension

Those two words scare me. It’s a possibility I have that, or secondary pulmonary hypertension. (because of my horrible sleep apnea) It’s also a possibility that I don’t have it. I did all my heart tests last week, and 1 chest x-ray, and now I’m doing the waiting game. I did put a call in to the nurse at the doc’s office.  I’m waiting for that return phone call too. Have I ever mentioned that I’m not the most patient person. at. all. I received a call yesterday from A. at the doc’s office and she did let me know that the chest x-ray was good. Nice, but what about the EKG and Echo? I felt like I repeated myself  A LOT, and basically got the response, your EKG was abnormal but the Echo will be able to tell the doc more about it. Huh? She had the bedside manner of a june bug. I’m of the opinion that she could have just said, “Dr. M will call you when she gets the results.” Please leave out the part of abnormal anything unless you’re prepared to give me all of the results. Or expand on what you mean by abnormal. Especially since I’m the type that will think about it until I get said phone call.  I mean you are talking about my heart. The thing that pumps your blood  and keeps you going. My HEART. Of course, stressing about it isn’t going to do any good and I was actually fine until that call yesterday. “ekg abnormal.” I was fine with not knowing. Why worry when you haven’t heard anything. I did notice that my valve was working hard last week on the Echo screen, but to my inexperienced eye (ie, non-medical) maybe that’s what it’s supposed to do? I called my sister L to question if she noticed anything ‘abnormal’ about my heart during the test last week. To her non-medical eyes too.  She gave me her thoughts and it adds up to neither one of us knew what to look for, so….lol. No matter how many times I’ve watched ER or Grey’s Anatomy, it doesn’t make me a doctor. Ha. I did look up PH on the American Heart website and the Mayo Clinic website. Note to self – don’t do that. The Mayo Clinic website is the one that really freaked me out. So I’m waiting…and waiting….and waiting…………..

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