Archive for family

New Year, New Me.

I decided before NYE (and all the resolution hype) what I wanted to change about myself. What goals I want for myself. Not just goals, but things to accomplish. First and foremost, my weight. It has held me prisoner for my entire life and I have to let it go. Everything in my life revolves around my weight. What to wear, where to sit, am I going to fit here, or there, or anywhere. I am a food addict. I am an emotional eater. No matter the range of emotions – I eat. Well I have decided to give myself until my 40th birthday (gasp! 40?!) to lose all my weight and keep it off. I’ll be 37 this year, so that gives me 3 years. (Yay Math!) It’s now or never. I don’t want to be a young corpse. I don’t want my mother to have to bury me. I don’t want to die from something I could prevent. I started WW (again) on January 8th. I weighed in at 459 pounds. Holy shit! My silver lining in that is that I hadn’t gained back all the weight I previously lost before. But, I’m determined to take this one day at a time. I didn’t get to be 459lbs overnight and I’m not going to get to 200 pounds overnight. My sweet brother P has thrown in great motivation. If I lose 125lbs in 6 months, he’ll buy my a camera of my choice. For anyone that knows me, photography is my passion. A brand new DSLR camera of my choice? Yes!  When word of that spread sisters K & L threw in a $100 a piece and a dear friend A, also threw in $100. I’m blown away by the support I’ve been shown and how much everyone wants this for me. I’m excited to imagine myself in a slimmer body. I can’t wait to live my new life. My first week I lost 3.8lbs. Woo hoo! 121.2lbs to go. Not just for a dream camera, but for a dream me.

It’s time for a new me, in this new year.


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Fair Day!

I doubt there’s anyone out there that loves the State Fair as much as I do.  Seriously. Yes I’m 36 and a ‘responsible’ adult, but I cannot express to you how much I love going to the fair. The anticipation of the “fair day” approaching. The excitement of looking for a parking space. Walking through the gates…the food, the beer, the sights and smells. I love it all. Today I’m going with Brother P and his Mrs. I’m dorky I know. I’m okay with that. Tomorrow I can be responsible and sensible. Today I’m going to act like a child and have a great time! Come on pronto dogs and funnel cakes.

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Cold doesn’t cut it

It’s bitter ass cold! We had a blizzard on Christmas Eve and that was THE.MOST.TERRIFYING drive of my life. I was on the road because I had the Santa presents at my house. Complete white out most of the time and I continuosly sang ‘Jesus loves me’  and ‘Amazing Grace’. White knuckle driving. Not fun. Getting stuck in a snow drift, really not fun. It was truly an experience and not one I’d like to repeat. It made for an odd Christmas time and I don’t want to repeat that either. Family spread out and thrown off kilter. Nana’s tree falling over, ripping the power lines from the house. By the grace of God, I was out driving or my car would have been crunched under the tree. Truly by the grace of God.

It has been bitter cold ever since that darn snow storm. Today the high is 17. 17!!! Of course it could be worse, but my goodness. They even closed some schools today and tomorrow because of the temps. Times have definitely changed because when I was in school (1 of those stories!), they didn’t close for A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G. It was practically an act of congress to close for snow days. Now they close because it’s too cold outside. I understand it, but man. Why not when I was a kid? haha….

 This month my mom is turning 60! Happy Early Mom! (not that she reads this or even knows about this blog.) But she’s turning 60 this month and I can’t believe it! She doesn’t look 60 or act like it. usually. I’m trying to find a good gift for her and I’ve got a couple of ideas. If anyone reads this before the week of the 23, care to give me some ideas? She loves playing games on the computer, reading, watching The Holiday, and not having to do anything on the weekends. :o)

My cousin and her baby M are doing good. There was another scare with her not breathing, so she’s back on the apnea monitor. I can’t imagine having apnea as an infant. I know it sucks as an adult. Poor thing. She is absolutely precious! Seriously cute fat rolls and all. Plus she’s blowing bubbles these days! And bonus…they will be here in OK around Easter time! Yay! Please cooperate weather so they will be able to make it. I cannot wait to hold that little honey. (and get to see her parents and the rest of the fam!)

I tried sweet talking Spring into making an early appreance but apparently that talk fell on deaf ears. You can’t fault a girl for trying though!

 Did you make New Year’s resolutions? I usually do and this year was no exception. They were a little different than before though…I have  3.   1. Go back to WW. I’ve gained way too much weight and that is NO bueno. 2. Start saving money. seriously. I’m going to pay myself first! There’s no reason I shouldn’t have the things I want. 3. Be more positive about my living situation with Queenie. She’s looking older these days and I’m terrified I’m going to ‘find’ her in her room or come home and ‘find’ her. I really do love her and love the fact I can live there, but I’ve noticed myself getting more negative and always complaining about things…That has to stop, because I don’t believe that is truly who I am. When I look at my life I am truly blessed and could have it much worse. So here’s the rundown, shed, save, & savor.

So here’s to being cold….if the groundhog sees his shadow in February I’m punching him in the gizzards. Fair warning Puxatawney Phil. (i’m pretty sure I spelled that wrong but oh well!)

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Hap, Hap, Happy Thanksgiving!

I have a lot to be thankful for this year. Let’s make a “Thankful List”:

  1. I have my health
  2. My family has their health
  3. My cousins baby survived a difficult arrival into this big wde world. I’ve read heartbreaking stories this year where that isn’t the case.
  4. My other cousin, made it safely home from her travels abroad.
  5. I got a new car.
  6. I have enough to eat (usually more so) and a roof over my head.
  7. My family is doing well. Healthy, happy, successful.
  8. I’ve made great friends.
  9. I am still employed. In this time of our country, that is truly a blessing!
  10. My friend D, who was hurt in Afghanistan, is on the mend and home with his family.
  11. I’ve made a couple of new friends through Soldier’s Angels.
  12. It’s easy to get bogged down in the “I wish I had this” or “I wish I had that” but when it comes down to it, I’ve been very blessed with a lot of things this year.

No matter how ‘bad’ you have it, remember there is always someone out there that is suffering more than you are. Be thankful in what you have and don’t worry about the have nots. You being here is something to be thankful for!  Eventhough my list is kind of lame or maybe it’s not, I’m thankful I was able to come up with it.

Here’s to eating too much turkey and pumpkin pie and drinking bloody mary’s with mom while getting everything ready. (nice run on sentence!)

Here’s to you and whatever you do this Thanksgiving. I hope it’s a HAPPY time for you.

Happy Turkey Day! Gobble, gobble!



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This happens to me quite a bit. I make plans for one thing, forget about making said plans, then make plans for something else. It’s not that I’m forgetfull, I just don’t have good reminders maybe? Case in point: Last week some ladies from work were talking about going to the Choctaw Senior center for a fundraiser dinner. Brisket, sides, and dessert for $6. That’s cheap! And with me having the larger car, (suv) I was going to be the driver for at least 4 of the ladies. This plan was COMPLETELY forgotten by me. Tuesday of this week my sister K asks if I’m going back to the FAIR! this year. Yes, I’m going Friday for the Boyz II Men concert. She doesn’t want the girls there after dark, don’t blame her, and wondered about going today because armbands are only $14 instead of a whopping $25  on Friday. Sure I say, I think I can do that. WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING? I’ve made plans for two different things for the same night. Of course I wasn’t reminded of the dinner until yesterday, but I should go to that because it was the original plan I made. Right? What my real problem is is that I’m a people person and want to please everyone. So I’ve been trying to think of a way to do both. The dinner is from 4-7, but it’s all the way in Choctaw. Not exactly close. It starts getting dark here around 7:30 or so. So could I go to the dinner right after work, scarf down my food, leave, rush back, drop off my co-workers, pick up the girls, then go to the fair for what might be an hour or two? Hell I hate having this guilt. It fucking sucks!

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6 days into July and so far it’s going alright. It’s our year end at work, so I imagine it might be a tad stressful, but I’m not going to let it get me. Ha! Nanny, nanny, boo, boo, you can’t catch me. (that’s my taunt to stress.) The 4th was a good time. I went to my friend SH house, or rather her parents for a cookout/fireworks. They live alll theee waaaay out in Choctaw or the outskirts somewhere out there. It was a nice drive but I couldn’t imagine making it with ice/snow on the roads. Too many big hills for my non-adventure self. I told her those hills were the closest I’d ever get to riding a roller coaster. Her parents place is nice. I mean nice. 5 acres of land, cute house, only a couple of neighbors, a little slice of heaven. Her mom made enough food for a few neighborhoods and all of it was DELISH! I did feel a little awkward only because I didn’t know anyone, but I still had a good time. Everyone was very nice. The fireworks were fun, even in the rain. Yeah it rained! We certainly needed it. So the 4th was good.

Tomorrow Sister K is having ear surgery. She’s virtually deaf in her left ear, something about an extra bone on her hammer that is making it not work right. So they are going to go in there and remove the little bone so she can hear again. It’s been so long since she has been able to hear, I wonder if it’s going to be sensory overload for her? I really hope I can get off work to be there at the hospital during her surgery. I know my mom will be there, but I wanna be there too. I’m definitely saying my prayers that the doctors are successful and have steady hands. *(God, please watch over them and keep them in your capable hands.)* If anyone besides me reads this, say a prayer for K too. I’m a little nervous for her, but I know she’ll be alright. I know it.

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Thanksgiving’s on the way…

Obviously I’ve been away from this for a while. I didn’t know what to write or when I did, I forgot. Nice. I’m still living at my Nana’s and it’s going alright. My sister K informed me the other night that “you know you’re first in line to change her diapers, right?” Not that she’s anywhere near that stage in life, but I told her that yes, in fact, I was thinking of that the other day. She’s 83, Nana not K, and although she’s in great health, I can picture the day when I’ll have to make sure her hair is brushed, face washed, bathed, etc. I’ve done it before when I worked at a nursing home, but it’s something different when it’s a relative. Imagine having to take care of your grandmother like that? Sure we have the same parts and stuff, but it still should remain a mystery and things like that, you don’t really want to put a visual with. Ya know? Okay, enough about that…just know that if the time ever comes I would be the good granddaughter that I am, and step up.

On the WW I haven’t done very well lately. Last week I gained 3 point something pounds and this week I gained 2.8 pounds. Well holy shit! This week I did weigh in wearing jeans and a heavier shirt, so the leader said it’s more than likely the weight of my clothes, but damn! I’ve been in a rut lately with WW and I’m sure part of it is that I live in a house where there is junk food (ie shit) laying around everywhere! Plus my ‘roomie’ eats unhealthy foods as well. And I know I’ve done poorly because I’ve made bad choices. I’ve felt frumpy and have been having a bit of a pity party for myself lately and I’ve gone back to old habits.  Before WW, whenever I got down, was depressed, felt frumpy, whatever you wanna call it, I’d eat. Feeding my feelings. I’m not sure why I’m letting it get to me lately, but I need to get back on track. I talked to Nana and she said she needs to eat healthier too, so if she’d just try new things and let me do the cooking, then I think it would be better for the both of us. I made it to a 72.8lb weight loss a couple of weeks ago and now I’m back to 67lb weight loss. It’s still a good number, but come on, who wants to go backwards? haha…

Can you believe that Thanksgiving is now less than 2 weeks away? It’s probably my favorite holiday. Not just because of the great food, but it’s just family & friends getting together to celebrate everything we have to be thankful for and there isn’t the pressure of gift giving like with Christmas. Although I LOVE giving gifts….what can I say? I’m a giver. So Thanksgiving this year is going to be at mom’s. It’s always been at Nana’s but, thankfully, mom let Nana and everyone else know it’s at her house this year! Yeah Mom!!!! It will be odd this time around because sister B will be in Alabama and Brother W and his family are going to be at his wife’s parents house this year. Of course we’ll still have turkey and titties rest assured! I’m not sure if I’ve talked about it before, but every year after the turkey dinner, all the siblings gather at the local strip club. It’s not so much for the ladies as it is to just gather with friends/family and drink some beer. We do it every year and it’s always great fun! Who doesn’t want to wake up in the wee hours of Black Friday with a hangover? Nothing like kamakaze shopping with a headache. Good times! Speaking of which, I’m not sure there’s anyone on the planet who loves Black Friday shopping more than I do. I even went by myself last year, which is something I rarely do…shop by myself. But hey, if you don’t have anyone to go with, why not? I hope Target has some good stuff for sale this year! I LOVE Target!!

Anyway, in keeping with the Thanksgiving talk, here are a few things I’m thankful for:

1. My family – I may complain about them, but I wouldn’t have anyone else.

2. Living with my Nana – she’s crazier than a shithouse rat at times, but I wouldn’t trade her for anything either.

3. My friends – a small, select group of friends who make it all better.

4. working – sure I don’t get paid enough, but there are a lot of people out there who don’t have a job at all.

5. Life in general. I’m thankful everyday I wake up and blessed to have this life.


I hope everyone has something to be thankful for this year.

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