Archive for Health

New Year, New Me.

I decided before NYE (and all the resolution hype) what I wanted to change about myself. What goals I want for myself. Not just goals, but things to accomplish. First and foremost, my weight. It has held me prisoner for my entire life and I have to let it go. Everything in my life revolves around my weight. What to wear, where to sit, am I going to fit here, or there, or anywhere. I am a food addict. I am an emotional eater. No matter the range of emotions – I eat. Well I have decided to give myself until my 40th birthday (gasp! 40?!) to lose all my weight and keep it off. I’ll be 37 this year, so that gives me 3 years. (Yay Math!) It’s now or never. I don’t want to be a young corpse. I don’t want my mother to have to bury me. I don’t want to die from something I could prevent. I started WW (again) on January 8th. I weighed in at 459 pounds. Holy shit! My silver lining in that is that I hadn’t gained back all the weight I previously lost before. But, I’m determined to take this one day at a time. I didn’t get to be 459lbs overnight and I’m not going to get to 200 pounds overnight. My sweet brother P has thrown in great motivation. If I lose 125lbs in 6 months, he’ll buy my a camera of my choice. For anyone that knows me, photography is my passion. A brand new DSLR camera of my choice? Yes!  When word of that spread sisters K & L threw in a $100 a piece and a dear friend A, also threw in $100. I’m blown away by the support I’ve been shown and how much everyone wants this for me. I’m excited to imagine myself in a slimmer body. I can’t wait to live my new life. My first week I lost 3.8lbs. Woo hoo! 121.2lbs to go. Not just for a dream camera, but for a dream me.

It’s time for a new me, in this new year.


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Hap, Hap, Happy Thanksgiving!

I have a lot to be thankful for this year. Let’s make a “Thankful List”:

  1. I have my health
  2. My family has their health
  3. My cousins baby survived a difficult arrival into this big wde world. I’ve read heartbreaking stories this year where that isn’t the case.
  4. My other cousin, made it safely home from her travels abroad.
  5. I got a new car.
  6. I have enough to eat (usually more so) and a roof over my head.
  7. My family is doing well. Healthy, happy, successful.
  8. I’ve made great friends.
  9. I am still employed. In this time of our country, that is truly a blessing!
  10. My friend D, who was hurt in Afghanistan, is on the mend and home with his family.
  11. I’ve made a couple of new friends through Soldier’s Angels.
  12. It’s easy to get bogged down in the “I wish I had this” or “I wish I had that” but when it comes down to it, I’ve been very blessed with a lot of things this year.

No matter how ‘bad’ you have it, remember there is always someone out there that is suffering more than you are. Be thankful in what you have and don’t worry about the have nots. You being here is something to be thankful for!  Eventhough my list is kind of lame or maybe it’s not, I’m thankful I was able to come up with it.

Here’s to eating too much turkey and pumpkin pie and drinking bloody mary’s with mom while getting everything ready. (nice run on sentence!)

Here’s to you and whatever you do this Thanksgiving. I hope it’s a HAPPY time for you.

Happy Turkey Day! Gobble, gobble!



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6 days into July and so far it’s going alright. It’s our year end at work, so I imagine it might be a tad stressful, but I’m not going to let it get me. Ha! Nanny, nanny, boo, boo, you can’t catch me. (that’s my taunt to stress.) The 4th was a good time. I went to my friend SH house, or rather her parents for a cookout/fireworks. They live alll theee waaaay out in Choctaw or the outskirts somewhere out there. It was a nice drive but I couldn’t imagine making it with ice/snow on the roads. Too many big hills for my non-adventure self. I told her those hills were the closest I’d ever get to riding a roller coaster. Her parents place is nice. I mean nice. 5 acres of land, cute house, only a couple of neighbors, a little slice of heaven. Her mom made enough food for a few neighborhoods and all of it was DELISH! I did feel a little awkward only because I didn’t know anyone, but I still had a good time. Everyone was very nice. The fireworks were fun, even in the rain. Yeah it rained! We certainly needed it. So the 4th was good.

Tomorrow Sister K is having ear surgery. She’s virtually deaf in her left ear, something about an extra bone on her hammer that is making it not work right. So they are going to go in there and remove the little bone so she can hear again. It’s been so long since she has been able to hear, I wonder if it’s going to be sensory overload for her? I really hope I can get off work to be there at the hospital during her surgery. I know my mom will be there, but I wanna be there too. I’m definitely saying my prayers that the doctors are successful and have steady hands. *(God, please watch over them and keep them in your capable hands.)* If anyone besides me reads this, say a prayer for K too. I’m a little nervous for her, but I know she’ll be alright. I know it.

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Keep on ticking…

So I finally got a call back about the Echo test I had. Yes, I have two enlarged chambers, the bottom ones, but they are working great so I’m alright. Good Job Heart! Please keep working fine for many years to come! Please.

After the results were given to me, I asked when I’d get the C-Pap machine? There was some confusion on the nurse’s part and I re-hashed all the conversations we’ve had since my 2nd sleep study. Then she told me she’d talk to the doctor when she comes in and calls me back. The call back that I got was from a different nurse to say “This is W from Dr. M’s office calling to let you know your sleep study has been scheduled for July 6th.” This is me: “What do you mean ANOTHER sleep study? I’ve already had two!”  W: “I’m not sure, I just had a note to call you and let you know about it.” M: “Why do I have to have another one? I did the first one to find out about sleep apnea and then the 2nd one was for the machine. Now I have to have a 3rd one?” W: “Um, S’s right here, let me ask her. She said it’s for a bi-pap machine sitration (or some shit like that. my words, not hers. lol) (basically a totally different machine) M: Okay, fine. You said the 6th? Same thing as the last two times I was there?” W: Yes ma’am. Show up by 8p.m. and they will take care of you.” It’s not that I’m a bitchy person to nurses, because let’s face it, nurses are running the shit. Doctors come in and diagnose and all that stuff, but nurses are the backbones of the operation. I’d just like for 1) to get to talk to my doctor about why she feels I need another test and 2) when you call and tell me something is planned, at least know what it’s for. Those fucking tests are $5,000 a piece! Okay, so my insurance is awesome and I end up with a bill for $503, but still that’s FIVE HUNDRED AND THREE DOLLARS! Now we’re talking $1509.00. You know how long it’s going to take to pay that off? Sheesh. Anywho, I’m blessed to even have insurance so I shouldn’t bitch that much. 

I’m actually really blessed that I wake up everyday and heart wants to keep on ticking. Thank you again Heart for keeping me going.

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Pulmonary Hypertension

Those two words scare me. It’s a possibility I have that, or secondary pulmonary hypertension. (because of my horrible sleep apnea) It’s also a possibility that I don’t have it. I did all my heart tests last week, and 1 chest x-ray, and now I’m doing the waiting game. I did put a call in to the nurse at the doc’s office.  I’m waiting for that return phone call too. Have I ever mentioned that I’m not the most patient person. at. all. I received a call yesterday from A. at the doc’s office and she did let me know that the chest x-ray was good. Nice, but what about the EKG and Echo? I felt like I repeated myself  A LOT, and basically got the response, your EKG was abnormal but the Echo will be able to tell the doc more about it. Huh? She had the bedside manner of a june bug. I’m of the opinion that she could have just said, “Dr. M will call you when she gets the results.” Please leave out the part of abnormal anything unless you’re prepared to give me all of the results. Or expand on what you mean by abnormal. Especially since I’m the type that will think about it until I get said phone call.  I mean you are talking about my heart. The thing that pumps your blood  and keeps you going. My HEART. Of course, stressing about it isn’t going to do any good and I was actually fine until that call yesterday. “ekg abnormal.” I was fine with not knowing. Why worry when you haven’t heard anything. I did notice that my valve was working hard last week on the Echo screen, but to my inexperienced eye (ie, non-medical) maybe that’s what it’s supposed to do? I called my sister L to question if she noticed anything ‘abnormal’ about my heart during the test last week. To her non-medical eyes too.  She gave me her thoughts and it adds up to neither one of us knew what to look for, so….lol. No matter how many times I’ve watched ER or Grey’s Anatomy, it doesn’t make me a doctor. Ha. I did look up PH on the American Heart website and the Mayo Clinic website. Note to self – don’t do that. The Mayo Clinic website is the one that really freaked me out. So I’m waiting…and waiting….and waiting…………..

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