Archive for life

New Year, New Me.

I decided before NYE (and all the resolution hype) what I wanted to change about myself. What goals I want for myself. Not just goals, but things to accomplish. First and foremost, my weight. It has held me prisoner for my entire life and I have to let it go. Everything in my life revolves around my weight. What to wear, where to sit, am I going to fit here, or there, or anywhere. I am a food addict. I am an emotional eater. No matter the range of emotions – I eat. Well I have decided to give myself until my 40th birthday (gasp! 40?!) to lose all my weight and keep it off. I’ll be 37 this year, so that gives me 3 years. (Yay Math!) It’s now or never. I don’t want to be a young corpse. I don’t want my mother to have to bury me. I don’t want to die from something I could prevent. I started WW (again) on January 8th. I weighed in at 459 pounds. Holy shit! My silver lining in that is that I hadn’t gained back all the weight I previously lost before. But, I’m determined to take this one day at a time. I didn’t get to be 459lbs overnight and I’m not going to get to 200 pounds overnight. My sweet brother P has thrown in great motivation. If I lose 125lbs in 6 months, he’ll buy my a camera of my choice. For anyone that knows me, photography is my passion. A brand new DSLR camera of my choice? Yes!  When word of that spread sisters K & L threw in a $100 a piece and a dear friend A, also threw in $100. I’m blown away by the support I’ve been shown and how much everyone wants this for me. I’m excited to imagine myself in a slimmer body. I can’t wait to live my new life. My first week I lost 3.8lbs. Woo hoo! 121.2lbs to go. Not just for a dream camera, but for a dream me.

It’s time for a new me, in this new year.

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Can I get a do-over?

I had a really good time at the fair yesterday. P&B rock and a good time was had by all. However, today I feel like a rusted out vehicle. I’m worn out. Since Thursday, I’ve been on non-stop full throttle and if I was less responsible,  I would call in today and relax. I need some time away from caring for Queenie (that’s a whole post in itself) and working my “regular” job. Can I get a do-over on this past weekend and just run away somewhere and put my feet up?

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Fair Day!

I doubt there’s anyone out there that loves the State Fair as much as I do.  Seriously. Yes I’m 36 and a ‘responsible’ adult, but I cannot express to you how much I love going to the fair. The anticipation of the “fair day” approaching. The excitement of looking for a parking space. Walking through the gates…the food, the beer, the sights and smells. I love it all. Today I’m going with Brother P and his Mrs. I’m dorky I know. I’m okay with that. Tomorrow I can be responsible and sensible. Today I’m going to act like a child and have a great time! Come on pronto dogs and funnel cakes.

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I suck at this ‘blog’ thing…

It’s not that I haven’t thought about writing, because I have.  I just haven’t done it. Clearly. It’s been since the first of the year that I’ve written anything. Good job! Slacker of the year award goes to Me. There has been so much that’s gone on this year, so it’s not for lack of things to write about.  I think I have a complex when it comes to blogging. Sister K is the writer, Sister L is a good writer too. My Texas  cousin has a phenominal blog. Maybe I should just get over it and write.  We’ll see how it goes.  (that’s my excited, yay I’m going to do this voice!)

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Cold doesn’t cut it

It’s bitter ass cold! We had a blizzard on Christmas Eve and that was THE.MOST.TERRIFYING drive of my life. I was on the road because I had the Santa presents at my house. Complete white out most of the time and I continuosly sang ‘Jesus loves me’  and ‘Amazing Grace’. White knuckle driving. Not fun. Getting stuck in a snow drift, really not fun. It was truly an experience and not one I’d like to repeat. It made for an odd Christmas time and I don’t want to repeat that either. Family spread out and thrown off kilter. Nana’s tree falling over, ripping the power lines from the house. By the grace of God, I was out driving or my car would have been crunched under the tree. Truly by the grace of God.

It has been bitter cold ever since that darn snow storm. Today the high is 17. 17!!! Of course it could be worse, but my goodness. They even closed some schools today and tomorrow because of the temps. Times have definitely changed because when I was in school (1 of those stories!), they didn’t close for A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G. It was practically an act of congress to close for snow days. Now they close because it’s too cold outside. I understand it, but man. Why not when I was a kid? haha….

 This month my mom is turning 60! Happy Early Mom! (not that she reads this or even knows about this blog.) But she’s turning 60 this month and I can’t believe it! She doesn’t look 60 or act like it. usually. I’m trying to find a good gift for her and I’ve got a couple of ideas. If anyone reads this before the week of the 23, care to give me some ideas? She loves playing games on the computer, reading, watching The Holiday, and not having to do anything on the weekends. :o)

My cousin and her baby M are doing good. There was another scare with her not breathing, so she’s back on the apnea monitor. I can’t imagine having apnea as an infant. I know it sucks as an adult. Poor thing. She is absolutely precious! Seriously cute fat rolls and all. Plus she’s blowing bubbles these days! And bonus…they will be here in OK around Easter time! Yay! Please cooperate weather so they will be able to make it. I cannot wait to hold that little honey. (and get to see her parents and the rest of the fam!)

I tried sweet talking Spring into making an early appreance but apparently that talk fell on deaf ears. You can’t fault a girl for trying though!

 Did you make New Year’s resolutions? I usually do and this year was no exception. They were a little different than before though…I have  3.   1. Go back to WW. I’ve gained way too much weight and that is NO bueno. 2. Start saving money. seriously. I’m going to pay myself first! There’s no reason I shouldn’t have the things I want. 3. Be more positive about my living situation with Queenie. She’s looking older these days and I’m terrified I’m going to ‘find’ her in her room or come home and ‘find’ her. I really do love her and love the fact I can live there, but I’ve noticed myself getting more negative and always complaining about things…That has to stop, because I don’t believe that is truly who I am. When I look at my life I am truly blessed and could have it much worse. So here’s the rundown, shed, save, & savor.

So here’s to being cold….if the groundhog sees his shadow in February I’m punching him in the gizzards. Fair warning Puxatawney Phil. (i’m pretty sure I spelled that wrong but oh well!)

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Hap, Hap, Happy Thanksgiving!

I have a lot to be thankful for this year. Let’s make a “Thankful List”:

  1. I have my health
  2. My family has their health
  3. My cousins baby survived a difficult arrival into this big wde world. I’ve read heartbreaking stories this year where that isn’t the case.
  4. My other cousin, made it safely home from her travels abroad.
  5. I got a new car.
  6. I have enough to eat (usually more so) and a roof over my head.
  7. My family is doing well. Healthy, happy, successful.
  8. I’ve made great friends.
  9. I am still employed. In this time of our country, that is truly a blessing!
  10. My friend D, who was hurt in Afghanistan, is on the mend and home with his family.
  11. I’ve made a couple of new friends through Soldier’s Angels.
  12. It’s easy to get bogged down in the “I wish I had this” or “I wish I had that” but when it comes down to it, I’ve been very blessed with a lot of things this year.

No matter how ‘bad’ you have it, remember there is always someone out there that is suffering more than you are. Be thankful in what you have and don’t worry about the have nots. You being here is something to be thankful for!  Eventhough my list is kind of lame or maybe it’s not, I’m thankful I was able to come up with it.

Here’s to eating too much turkey and pumpkin pie and drinking bloody mary’s with mom while getting everything ready. (nice run on sentence!)

Here’s to you and whatever you do this Thanksgiving. I hope it’s a HAPPY time for you.

Happy Turkey Day! Gobble, gobble!

 

 

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Give Thanks

I can’t believe it’s already November. I know people say this all the time, but man this year has flown by! Seriously. It’s already Novemeber 11th. It’s almost Thanksgiving. Today is Veteran’s Day. A HUGE Thank you to all of the service men & women, retired or active duty, for everything you have done and continue to do for this Country. It doesn’t seem like enough to just say Thank You, for the sacrifices you go through, but it is sincerely heart felt.

Today is also Madeline Alice Spohr’s 2nd birthday. While she only got to celebrate one birthday here on earth, I’m sure she is celebrating in style in Heaven. Sadly, I didn’t know about her or her wonderful parents until after she passed away. But there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by since April 7th, 2009 that I haven’t thought about them. Everytime I see the color purple, I think of Maddie. In learning about her story through the loving words of her mom Heather, and father Mike, I feel like I’ve “known” them forever. Her beautiful life has touched millions of people either in real life or on the internet. Today is a celebration of a life that, although taken much too soon, has shined brigther and more glorious than anyone’s I can think of. The pictures of her smiling face are infectious. The beautiful words written about her are amazing. The strength and grace her parents have shown through this incredibly tough and  live changing time is awe inspiring. While I’ve never met them or even had a conversation with them, my life is forever changed because of them.  Happy Birthday sweet Maddie!

Heather & Mike celebrated Maddie’s 1st birthday with cream puffs (yum!) so have a cream puff today to celebrate this beautiful sunshine girl!

Much love, sweet thoughts and well wishes to  Heather, Mike, and their entire family. Not just today, but everyday.

To read Heather’s and Mike’s blogs, go to www.thespohrsaremultiplying.com and www.thenewbornidentity.com

Also, to celebrate & remember Maddie, please donate to www.friendsofmaddie.org to help  NICU parents.

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