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September is almost over and still nothing.

I have to admit I started this blog as a way to sort of journal. About my life and what happens in it, but I have to say, I’ve really sucked at it! lol. I read blogs daily and they seem to not have any problem with something to say. I guess because like I said in an earlier post, I think of good stuff and then when I get here, I’ve either forgotten it, or I don’t want to write about it anymore. Well, I’ll try and do better. I promise. :o) Maybe I can get to at least one blog a month? Isn’t that kind of ‘glass half full’ type of thinking? I thought so!

Anywho, I have been thinking a lot about the changes I need to make in my life. Things such as, doing what I’m passionate about (photography), getting control over my weight, telling people what I think instead of worrying about them getting upset. I look at my brother P and he really has it going on right now. Actually he has for a while but he just recently got a huge promotion at work, moved to a new city, is closing on his first house at the end of this month, and he’s only 25. I have to say I’m a little envious of him, but mostly I’m proud as hell! He really has a good head on his shoulders and actually uses it! OH! He’s also getting married next year too. They’ve only been dating for like 8 or 9 years! His fiance is awesome and will be a welcome addition to the family. Of course she’s been family for a while, but I guess at the wedding it will be official. Like I told him the other day, he makes my heart sing for all that he has become so far in life. (I sound like his mom, hahaha) I was 10 when he was born and I remember that he was MY baby. Seriously that kid was mine and you couldn’t tell me any different. I loved taking care of him. LOVED. IT. P, you’ve done amazing things and I can’t wait to see how far you’ve gone in the next few years. (not that he’ll ever read this, but you never know!)

Have I mentioned yet that the fair is in town? The FAIR! I LOVE THE FAIR. Seriously, it should be embarassing how much I enjoy it. Pronto Dogs, Funnel cakes, Indian tacos, beer, the cinnamon rolls, the sights and smells. Nice! P took me the other day and it was awesome. There’s just something about walking through the gate and seeing everything….Ah…It’s also the best place to people watch, ever!  I saw a couple of really sweet mullets and managed to get a picture of one. I’ll have to remember to post it on here. I’ve actually taken a lot of photos and should add some on here. When I’m on here next time, which looking over my track record should be sometime in November. Ha!

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What a month.

April is almost over. Yeah. Not that I’ve had anything really bad happen to me this month, but it seems like it’s been one heck of a roller coaster. I learned about the loss of a precious angel, via Twitter, around the first week of April. Her name is Madeline Alice Spohr. She was 17 months old. She passed away on April 7th. Her parents are Heather and Mike Spohr. While I didn’t know know about them before their loss, I’ve read past blogs from both of them and feel like I’ve “known” them for years. Maddie was born 11 weeks too early and had complications from the beginning. They almost lost her several times in her first few days of life. Her tiny lungs gave her a lot of trouble, but she prevailed. To look at the many pictures of her, you would see a beautiful, angelic child with a grin as big as anything. You wouldn’t know she had to use oxygen at night to help out with her breathing. In almost every picture of her she has that beautiful smile. You can tell she is well loved and was the heart of that family. Ever since I heard about sweet Maddie, there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by that I haven’t thought about her, Heather, or Mike. I check their websites daily, sometimes more than once a day, to see how they are or if they’ve posted anything new. I’ve noticed the color purple a lot! (It’s Maddie’s color and the official color of the MoD) When Grey’s Anatomy was on last week, I sat there thinking, “I hope Heather isn’t watching this.” One of the story lines has a young girl passing away. Knowing Maddie’s story makes you appreciate the people in your life more, to not take for granted that they are going to be there tomorrow, to let the little things slide.  While I’m not a parent and couldn’t even begin to know the hell they are going through, my heart breaks for them. There have been hundreds of well wishers posting to their sites (www.thespohrsaremultiply.com and www.thenewbornidentity.com ) their condolences and it’s amazing to see/read the outpouring of love for this young family. Their sunshine girl has certainly made a huge impact on the world in her very short life. March of Dime walks have been started in memory of Maddie. Thousands of dollars have been raised for MoD. I know I plan on contributing in honor of her. It’s very sad that a parent has to lose a child for more awareness to be brought to a subject. Very injust. No parent should outlive their child. Throughout this terrible time, I’ve seen how courageous people can be. Heather and Mike, sharing how they are, the things they are going through, still keeping us informed. I saw a quote a week or so ago that made me think of them too. “Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.” -C.S. Lewis. They are courageous, inspiring, and brave. Thank you to the Spohrs for sharing your sunshine girl with us and for continuing to share your life with us, the internet world. You will always be in our thoughts and prayers. God Bless You.

There were family birthday’s this month. Sister B and Brother W turned 28 and 37, respectively. Sister is still living in AL and from what I hear, is doing much better these days. She’s working her ass off and that’s tragic because she didn’t have one to begin with! Brother P went for a visit last week and from what he told me, Man! they had a good time. For Brother W’s birthday we went to a new Mexican restaurant – Mama Roja. Wow is that place spectacular!!! We were there for 5 hours! I’ve never been at a restaurant for that amount of time. We really enjoyed ourselves. If you get the chance to go, GO! Great food, service, patio seating, etc. It is definitely a new favorite. In fact, we’ll be going there to celebrate Mother’s Day on the 10th.  I love Mexican food, so I’m sure I will try and go there as much as my bank account will let me. LOL…

 So good-bye April. It was a roller coaster of a month and I hope May doesn’t follow in your path.

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Yeah!

My Dew is home!!! That’s sister L’s family nickname. She came back last Friday and I am so excited. My sister, friend, best bud, confidant, & running buddy is home. At least for now. She mentions pretty much every day I talk to her about how she wants to go back to Texas and as soon as she has a job and enough money saved, she’s moving there for good. I try not to think of that part too much because it breaks my heart, but I guess if that’s what truly makes her happy, I should be supportive of her. For right now, I’m going to enjoy it. I was at a work retreat on Friday all day and half of Saturday, but she came up Friday night and we hung out for a minute before she had to make the rest of her rounds. She is the social butterfly.

Life at Nana’s is going good. So far I haven’t had any family members tell me she’s complaining about me. Yet. Probably because I’m a good granddaughter and keep the flowers watered, bring in the paper, take out the trash, help out with dinner, let the dog outside, let the dog inside, bring in the mail and keep her company. I really don’t mind it at all. I enjoy being there. A nice house with a HUGE  yard…central heat and air…and my Nana. She really is hilarious. We were watching t.v. last night and the primary elections were yesterday here in Oklahoma. One of the ladies running is rather unfortunate looking. I’m sure with just a little help she’d look like a completely different person. Anyway, I made the comment about “Isn’t she a looker?” To which Nana replies, “I bet she haunts houses on the weekend.” HOLY SHIT! I laughed forever over that one and it still makes me giggle. She just has a great sense of humor. And she’s been really sweet. Every morning she tells me to ‘have a nice day’ and is really appreciative of the things I do for her. :o) So right now it’s going alright. I’m even playing with the dog…and I’m not really a pet kind of person.

Everything else seems to be good too. Can this be the first post I’ve had where I don’t have something bad/depressing/annoying to report??? Wow!! Yeah me and for anyone who is reading this. LOL

Tomorrow is my nephew’s birthday. He’s going to be 7 and I’m thinking about buying him the Nerf N Strike Vulcan gun. It’s as badass as it sounds! It’s a basically a Nerf machine gun. It comes with a tripod and an ammo box, both removable, and it shoots 3 foam darts a second!! I think the only drawback on it is that it needs 6 D batteries!!! Holy tights Batman! Those are going to cost as much as the gun itself, but it will be totally worth it! Could it turn out that I’m more excited about it than he might be? Nah..he’s a boy with a brother to shoot. and cousins. and parents. Whahahahhahahaha….

Anyway, I need to get to work. Hope you have a great Wednesday!!!

S.

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50 questions to kill some time…

A friend of mine had this on her blog so I thought I’d do it too…that and all the bosses are out of the office for the week so I’m goofing off. Go figure!

1. Do you like blue cheese? yuck! NO.

2. Have you ever smoked heroin? never and I don’t plan on it.

3. Do you own a gun? nope. I thought about getting one when I lived in a not-so-nice part of town, but I never did. I’ll stick with giant butcher knives.  

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? I don’t. When I was younger I would order the cherry ocean water slush or the swamp water one…but now it’s either tea, diet coke, or diet dr pepper.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Yes. I get nervous even if I’m with a friend or sister and it’s their appointment. LOL…Maybe it’s because I feel like I should be a good and proper girl and at that time I just want to giggle and be silly??

6. What do you think of hot dogs? nothing like eating lips and ass. Just kidding. I like the all beef ones, occassionally. And then with cheese and chili.

7. Favorite Christmas Song? Oh Holy Night. It is just beautiful and Josh Groban sings it best. I actually listen to it year round.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?  milk, juice, coke zero, water….any of those – it doesn’t matter.

9. Can you do pushups? Now that’s funny! I can ‘push up’ from the floor, but that’s about it.  

10. What kind of car do you drive? 1993 Ford Taurus…I know, I know. But hey it runs and that’s all I’m asking for right now.

11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? My only piece that I wear is a necklace I got for Christmas. It’s a circle necklace that says “Live, Laugh, Love” on it.

12. Favorite hobby? Photography, hands down. Sadly I read yesterday that film cameras are being phased out and that Nikon quit producing them in 2006. I love my film cameras!

13. Do you work with people who idolize you? yes. lol. What kind of question is this? I don’t know anyone, personally, who works with someone that idolizes them. But I guess it might be nice?? I don’t know.

14. Do you have A.D.D.?  no. now what were we talking about?

15. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? feeling guilty for telling someone no or when I can’t help them out.

16. Middle name? Suzanne

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: 1. Should I go to WW on Thursday instead of Friday because I’ll be at the Retreat all day Friday? 2. I wish Sarah would hurry up and get back from lunch so I can quit answering the phone. 3. I’m hungry.

18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday. I didn’t buy anything yesterday. Oh wait….I bought a diet coke from work.

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink. Diet coke/dr pepper/coke zero, water, tea.

20. Current worry right now? losing weight at this weeks weigh in.

21. Current hate right now? I don’t really hate anything right now.

22. Favorite place to be? with my family/friends – usually Sunday dinner-ish times or having a get together.

23. How did you bring in the New Year?  I went to Ln & Lh’s and hung out for a minute, then met Wm & Mc at Remington Park.

24. Where would you like to go? On Safari in Africa, Greece, Italy, Ireland, and Mexico. Plus I’d like to visit all 50 states and National Landmarks. I don’t want much do I?

25. Name three people who will complete this. Nope, I don’t wanna.

26. Whose answers do you want to read the most? Anybody’s.

27. What color shirt are you wearing? My red one with the low cut V neck.

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Why? So I can slide off into the floor? Thanks but no.

29. Can you whistle? yep. You just put your lips together and blow.

30. Favorite color(s)? red, blues, greens…

31. Would you be a pirate? aye aye matey.

32. What songs do you sing in the shower? I don’t normally sing in the shower.

33. Favorite girl’s name? Lowry Emmalyne

34. Favorite boy’s name? Jonathan Noah…I’ve loved that name since I was at least in 9th grade.

35. What’s in your pocket right now? a bunch o’ lint.

36. Last thing that made you laugh? I have laughed all day at work….talking to Shane, Dianna, Felice, and Christian. 

37. Best bed sheets as a child? I can’t really remember any right now?

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? Hmmm…it’s a toss up between ripping my tongue open in pre-school or fracturing my ankle in 10th grade. OR falling on a mirror and damn near cutting off my leg.  

39. Do you love where you live? Yes because my family is here.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house? 3…none of them are mine.

41. Who is your loudest friend? Kristi, bless her heart. :o)

42. How many dogs do you own? None! Thank you very much.

43. Does someone have a crush on you? I wish!!!!

44. What is your favorite article of clothing? my capri jeans and a shirt.

45. What is your favorite book(s)? The Outsiders, The Stephanie Plum series, The Harry Potter books, Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas, The Women’s Murder Club books….

46. What is your favorite candy? swiss cake rolls…it’s not a candy, but they are DAMN good!

47. What is your favorite sports team? OU Baby!!

48. What song do you want played at your funeral? “You raise me up” by Josh Groban. it’s for my family.

49. What were you doing at 12 AM last night? I had fallen asleep by that time. 

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? I have a few more minutes to lay here. 2. Is Harley in here? and 3. I hope my alarm doesn’t bother Nana….alas she did hear it today. Damn she has good hearing!

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It’s been a minute….

since I’ve written anything here. Mainly because I don’t have much to say. lol. Not a whole lot has happened since my last post. I’m pretty sure I was thisclose to accidentally overdosing on aspirin/tylenol/ibuprofen. I’ve had a pretty good tooth ache so I was taking the above mention pills and I’m pretty sure I took too many. I certainly didn’t feel good and I learned my lesson. What I need to do is find a dentist. But I’d like one that puts you to sleep while they work on your mouth. I don’t want to see the instruments they use, hear any drills, or see bits of teeth or whatever, flying out of my mouth. Nope…but I hate mouth pain. It’s probably the worst pain, or at least it rates high up there on the pain chart. I’ve recently gotten insurance at my job, so I need to get out there and find a good one. I think I may have found one here locally that seems pretty good, or at least their website says so, and they have payment plans. Which has been another deterrant for me. Money. or lack there of. The economy sucks big time, to put it mildly and gas is so close to 4 bucks a gallon that I don’t know what I’ll do when that happens. I guess continue to do without certain things so I can make it to work. Isn’t that just depressing? I don’t know the last time I treated myself to something fun. Unless you call buying groceries fun.

July 17th – This was originally written on June 12th….I need to get better at finishing these and then publishing. LOL!

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Thoughts…

This hasn’t been the best week…but I should be happy I have my health, so far I’ve woken up every morning, and my family/friends are great. Yesterday I was telling Sister K about my day and she said “You sound like ‘Failure to Launch’.” (the movie with Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker) That is totally how my day was yesterday. But let’s start with the first of the week. Monday is alright, but it’s the first day that C is back at work. She’s been off for her annual two week vacay. Nice huh? Well anyway, have I ever mentioned how she hates working here? She’s just not happy anymore which in turn makes it negative in the office. She actually is a very nice person personally, but it’s time to move on. So she’s unhappy about having to come back here, it’s a little tense, but nothing more than usual. Until the afternoon…right around quitin’ time. She asked my thoughts on the gay lifestyle. I have a family member who is gay so I guess she felt I had insider information. She wanted to know what “made” them that way, how did they develop those feelings, etc. Here’s what she said her view on the whole thing is….If you’re gay it’s because of either A) you were brought up that way or, B) brainwashed into being that way, or C) you were molested at some point in your life. Then she goes on to say it’s the same as the suicide bombers. In how they are taught from birth to believe a certain way. Um, what the fuck?!?!?! You are comparing being homosexual to suicide bombers??? That’s insane but it’s also her opinion. I don’t have to like it. So anyway, she proceeds to ask me my OPINION. Which I tell her (and I’ll tell you), I believe you are born that way. And here’s my reasoning: Why would someone “pick” a lifestyle that is hated by so many people? Why would you knowingly do that, to where certain people would rather see you dead than have you walk down their street or breathe the same air as they do. Why? Sure there are some people out there that try it or whatever, but I really believe you’re born that way. Her response to my OPINION was “Oh no that’s wrong. Anyone that knows the word of God, knows that’s wrong.” Um, excuse me, how are you going to tell me that my opinion is wrong??? My friend S said she was basically setting me up for a fight. (which didn’t happen.) Had she not been a co-worker and someone I share an office with, I would have completely gotten into it with her. That being said, I finally just told her, “You’re asking the wrong person. I’m not gay so I can’t give you the answers you’re looking for.” Then I promptly left. It really pisses me off the way it turned out and to find out she’s so completely closed minded. But I know there are a TON of people in this country/universe that are not open minded to homosexuals. I get that. That’s not what made me mad. It was asking my opinion and then telling me my opinion was wrong. Next time don’t ask bitch. :o)

Tuesday was alright…a little strained at work, probably from both sides, but alright. Sister K invited me over for dinner that night. Yes ma’am! Sloppy tacos night. I l-o-v-e sloppy tacos. Plus I get a chance to see the girlies during the week night. Little K started the pre-team in gymnastics and Big K started taking voice lessons. (both of my sisters girls names start with K, go figure) So now little K goes twice a week – two hours each time. I’m really excited for her. I asked her if she saw herself making a career out of it, but she’s only 8, so….Big K is loving voice lessons. This little girl loves to sing. And I think with the right training, she’ll be great.

July 17, 2008 – I just realized I never posted this….so here it is. In all it’s unfinished glory. :o)

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Sadness…

Today I’m at a loss. My sister L. has moved to Texas and didn’t tell anyone she’s leaving. Not family anyway. She just got back from a whacked out impromtu trip there, where she didn’t tell anyone that time she was going either. Her ex-girlfriend lives there. The ex that used to beat the shit out of her. The ex’s family that treated her like crap. The ex that made her fucking miserable. The ex that she swore she’d never go back to. I realize that she may be unhappy in her current relationship, but that’s no reason to run from one problem to another one. She could have stayed here to figure things out. Here where her family is. Here where she has resources to help her, a support system that’s only a car ride away. What happens if she gets sick from her diabetes? I wouldn’t put two cents into her ex helping her out. She told my mom that people change. No they don’t. Not really. Not in this case. She’s left an ex here and did it in a horrible way. How can you pack up a bag, hop on a plane, and not mention it to your fucking family? No phone call, no email, no nothing. We have to find out from a friend that she’s gone. It really fucking sucks and I’m sad beyond belief.  I hope you’re alright L and I hope you come home whenever you stop running from whatever it is that has you leaving like this.  I love you – Sara

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